17 Apr

Martin Crowe Is An Alien
by Paul Waite
17 Apr 2008

Alien BlokeOn the news tonight, we heard how Crowe thinks that the popularity of cricket is surfing a veritable Tsunami wave in this country, at the expense of rugby.

Apparently this ‘popularity’ has increased by 30% (whatever the fuck that means) whilst that of
rugby has decreased by the same amount.

Speaking to us from his home planet of Zod, in the Horses Arse Nebula, he further informed us that
all this is due to the rise of the IPL.

Well knock me down with a feather. It’s a good job we’ve got him there to let us in on these little tidbits of
information, because for the life of me I couldn’t detect any change myself in the usual attitude to our
losing Black Craps this summer, with tons of boringly shite cricket on offer punctuated with the
rare piece of good.

He’s got one thing right though. The news of various Black Caps and other players being auctioned
off to the IPL was a welcome and much more exciting respite from the actual cricket.

Methinks Crowe is being paid in rupees, and lots of ‘em.

And 20-20 is a game for morons – players who can’t play real cricket, and spectators who don’t
understand it. So obviously it will be very successful and a fantastic opportunity for a lot of our
players who wouldn’t know how to build an innings if it came in a flat-pack and they had step-by-step numbered instructions
written with big letters in crayon.­

Paul Waite

Paul Waite

Haka editor-in-chief. Please do not feed.

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